Sucks for him. The 10:17 comedy troupe puts on "the world's only Science Fiction Comedy Serial" at 78th St. Theatre Lab, 236 78th St. (B'way), 212-932-3767; Thurs.-Sun. at 8, $12.
AN INTIMATE EVENING W/INFINITE MONKEYS
In clever illustration of over-quoted concept, sketch comedy show is composed by infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters & it ain't Sharkespeare; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; Weds. at 10, $7.
BLOOD
Poetic journey of a crazed pedophile may leave you feeling dirty; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-673-4182 or www.surfreality.org; Fri. at 10, $8.
CRUEL & UNUSUAL
Death penalty gameshow satirizes America's obsession w/capital punishment & audience gets to decide whether Timothy McVeigh (yellow) & Mumia Abu-Jamal (black) live or die; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-673-4182 or www.surfreality.org; Fri. at 12, $8. [through 6/22]
DIRTY KNEES
Improv comedy troupe w/shady name; Freaks Local 413, 413 W. 44th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-981-9710; Sun. at 8:30, $7.
EATING IT
Laughter-driven variety event at Luna Lounge hosted by a different comedian each week; 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323 or www.eatingit.net; Mon. at 8, $7, incl. free drink.
EL PATO FEO
Unfortunate gentleman performs as part of the "Queer at Here" series; 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202, ext.307; Tues. at 7, call for price.
FACEBOYZ OPEN MIC
Everyone has ten-minute time limit at weekly open mic, hosted by bald & bisexual art-star Faceboy; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-330-6856 or www.surfreality.org; Sun. at 8, sign-up at 7:45, $3.
FUNNY...SHEESH ALTERNATIVE VARIETY FEST 27
Two stages to watch feat. original music, sketch comedy & fast-paced improv; Manhattan Theater Source, 177 MacDougal St. (betw. Waverly & West 8th Sts.), 212-501-4751; Tues. at 8, $10.
GERSHWIN HOTEL
"Turn It Down a Notch" (Weds. at 10); Patrick Borelli hosts "Great $5 Comedy," night of stand-up, improv & sketch comedy (Thurs. at 10); "The Laffeteria" (Fri. at 10); The 10:17 Comedy Night (Sat. at 10); The Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-447-6466; $5 for all shows.
GOTHAM CITY IMPROV
Improv is their specialty. "Cow Revolution" (Fri. at 8); "Fidget" (Fri. at 10); "Gotham Beyond" (Fri. at 10); Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222 or www.gothamcityimprov.com; most performances $5.
GRATUITOUS NUDITY
Perverts & first-year painters should come a-running to this series of monologues, nude & otherwise, which deal w/complex emotions involved in nakedness; Barrio, 99 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-229-8319; Thurs. at 10:30, $5 & 1 drink min. [through 6/28]
IMPROVISION
Audience & cast collaborate to make next season's television hits in improv comedy show?10 bucks says they do better than the networks; John Houseman Studio Theatre, 452 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-4324; Thurs. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10, $15, $5 st. [through 7/28].
JOYSTICK
Female performers do character-driven monologues that deal w/penis envy, or perhaps just Galaga envy; Freaks Loca 413, 413 W. 44th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-946-1827; Sat. at 8, $5-$10.
MEDIA KILLED THE VIDEO STAR
Skids, blow & The Buggles: a boy tells of his dreams of stardom during the "me" decade; Space 24, New York Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; Thurs. at 10 & Fri. at 7:30, $13 & 2 drink min.
MEMBER DRIVE: SKETCH COMEDY GOES PUB(L)IC
Network executive saves PBS by introducing sleazy shows; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; Tues. at 8, $7.
THEATERSPORTS
Freestyle Repertory Theater pres. improv comedy at The Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 323-595-3258; Sun. at 7, $5 [through 6/17].
TOAST
Sketch comedy w/performers trained at UCB Theater; Freaks Local 413, 413 W. 44th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-946-1827; Sat. at 10:30, $5, incl. Dixie cup of champagne (can't beat that w/a stick).
UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE
A plethora of events from some of the strangest, sanest people around feat. "Prankster Forum" (Weds. at 8); "Harold Night" (Thurs. at 7, 8 & 9:30) "Cagematch (Thurs. at 11); "Louis CK's Short Cuts" (Fri. at 8 & 10); "Best of NYC Sketch Comedy" (Fri. at 12); "May I Help You Dumbass?" (Sat. at 8); "Jerry Minor is a Black Man" (Sat. at 10) "Smut: The Decency Committee" (Sat. at 11:30); "Asssscat 3000" (Sun. at 7:30 & 9:30); "Entertaining Mr. Fear" (Mon. at 8); "Kathie Lee & The Legion of Good Meet Ricky Martin & the Loca Power Team!" (Mon. at 9:30); "Riot Nrrrd/I Thought You Were Dead" (Tues. at 8) Bobby Tisdale (Tues. 9:30); Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176 or www.uprightcitizens.org for info; most performances $5.