This Week's Horoscope

| 16 Feb 2015 | 04:24

    Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) There are "no-hands zones" in some expensive bars, restaurants and nightclubs in Bangkok, where hostesses serve patrons by feeding them, lifting drinks to their mouths, tenderly wiping faces with napkins. Despite your recent laziness, you wouldn't frequent a place this extreme. But it's astonishing how many of your responsibilities you allow others to handle. Without lifting a finger to help, you've let folks succeed or screw up in your name too often. This week, when shouldering that burden you can't shrug off, don't hesitate to ask for help. If you get it (you probably will), remember it whenever you're tempted to pass the buck or asked to pick up someone else's shit. If you don't get your requested help, maybe your karma needs a little scrubbing. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Picture an arm-thick cable, like those enormous hawsers used to secure huge ships to dock. They support tremendous weight and strain. That giant rope is composed of hundreds of smaller lines, each made up of many tiny threads. Individually, those filaments snap easily. But when woven into unity with other threads, their collective strength is magnified. Right now, you're a haphazard, random bunch of loose ends. But if you really wish to accomplish your ambitions in the coming weeks/months/years, your task is clear?weaving at least some of those divergent convictions, ideas, opinions and dreams into a coherent whole. Aries (March 21-April 19) Oh, you can be gentle. I know you. When you wish, you're as soft, fuzzy and cute as a baby kitten. But even in your adorability, you retain those sharp little teeth and that unpredictable demeanor. Sheathe those needlelike claws. Right now, it's your sweet vulnerability that's most important. We already know you're tough, but all that gusto, that machismo/femismo, can only get you so far. Instead of trying to surprise people with your muscular ego, why not awe them with your willingness to show it all? Taurus (April 20-May 20) Social evolution in cultures found in benevolent, tropical climates was primarily spiritual and artistic, rather than scientific, militaristic or technological. Those enduring harsher conditions were forced to develop the behaviors and tools that allowed them to survive. Of course we'd all love (for at least a little while) a less stressful life?like living on a gorgeous tropical island, blessed with kind weather and abundant, delicious food. Your greatest worry: relieving boredom. Oh well. At least right now, your life is more akin to surviving in Antarctica. But the emotional tools you're developing in response will be yours long after you've escaped that inhospitable clime, bringing you permanently one step closer to your own little bungalow under the coconut tree. Gemini (May 21-June 20) You're like a beleaguered, battered spaceship, harried by enemies. You escape with an extra burst of power, diverted to propulsion from shields and weapons systems. Or maybe you're more like a marathon runner who miraculously draws on tomorrow's reserves to pull into the lead on the final sprint today. I'm glad you expect so much of yourself. It's good that your New Year's resolutions still carry weight. It's good that you're so aware of your priorities?this week, you're capable of going most (or all) of the way to their fruition. Fuck next week. It'll take care of itself. You'll be able to face its challenges more easily if you've successfully and completely taken care of this week's shit. Cancer (June 21-July 22) Landing is not just something planes do. On a personal level, landing can occur any time after your actual arrival in a new place (either geographic or figurative). It represents an internal adjustment to a new reality. For instance, I arrived in India two weeks before I "landed." For that first fortnight, I barely coped with the filth, the constant hawking and attention, the poverty. But at some point, I managed to fully apprehend these things and become "okay" with them. I landed. I've explained this alternative meaning of a familiar word because it's pertinent to your current situation. You've arrived in the parameters of your new existence but you haven't landed yet. It takes time to realize harmony between external and internal environments that have recently changed as drastically as yours. Give yourself that time. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) During these short, dark, cold days of winter, when Leonine sun-power wanes, some Leos get nervous. But even during your lowest moments, you're a formidable beast. There may yet come a time this winter when it'll be in your best interest to put on that lamb suit and assume the camouflage of one who's quiet and meek, but not this week. Instead, set your buoyant confidence meter on "steady," like a competent ship's captain who's preparing to sail into treacherous waters. Despite the sharp coral reefs, titanic waves and tumultuous storms that may threaten your course, I believe you have the skills and self-knowledge now to bring yourself to the safe harbor of springtime with nary a hitch. So keep a firm hand on the tiller and issue the only order that's becoming to a leader as heroic and inspiring as yourself: "Full sail ahead!" Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Okay, so you survived Y2K. You survived your own outrageously demanding work ethic. You've survived your own crazy eating and sleeping habits. Hopefully, you realize by now how powerful you are. But what to do with that strength? Enjoy life. All your work and effort is meaningless unless you love it, unless it's fun. I know in part all this frenetic activity is to avoid pondering the big picture, avoid engaging in that too-often fruitless search for "the meaning of (your) life." As I see it, when you're lying on your deathbed (probably a long, long time from now) all your accomplishments will come to naught unless you can also say, "And I had fun along the way." Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Libras are often visionary. Your reputation as an artistic, creative sign is well deserved. Frequently, though, members of your tribe are obsessed with improving or maintaining their physical beauty. As most of you are gorgeous, it's understandable, and fine. Beauty is truth, sometimes. But ultimately, every Libra has to realize that physical, body-bound beauty fades. I'm not saying you should give up your quest for physical glamour. But perhaps a balance of less self-centered beauty (and truth) creation and propagation is just what the doctor ordered to keep your heart and spirit as vital, attractive and flexible as any teenager's. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In the industrialized nations of the world, evidence that a global culture is developing can be found everywhere. Simultaneously, our awareness of the value of our diversity is increasing. The need for a certain amount of homogeneity is necessary to bring about human unity and understanding?so that we can truly appreciate our differences and cultural uniqueness. Your task (one at which you excel) is to lead by example. Encourage people to acknowledge your commonalities by appreciating your differences. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Your eagerness to try new things is famous, Sag?new food, new drugs, new people. Rarely (if ever) have I heard a Sagittarian refuse to at least try some unknown edible?fried monkey brains or raw puffer fish, for instance?saying, "No thanks, I'm a meat and potatoes kinda guy/gal." So what's with the recent reluctance to experience the new elements in your life? I promise, they won't be any harder to swallow than some of the other things you've put in your mouth.