Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Remember that childhood game, "Mother may I?" The bossiest kid would allow (or not) the other kids to move forward based on their requests (giant steps, baby steps, etc.). "Red light, green light" was a little sneakier; you moved swiftly when the watcher's back was turned, and froze when she faced you. This week is a little like those games, only better?not only have the authorities in your life agreed to keep their backs turned for longer than usual, they're willing to grant permission for bigger and more magnificent steps forward than ever before.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) The last Scorpio I encountered could actually drill holes through cement walls with the force of his stare. Sort of a not-so-subtle form of X-ray vision. He could plumb the depths of even the most barricaded souls with the same force, and about that much sensitivity. I admire you for the strength that exudes from your every pore, especially when it's twisted into those interesting (sometimes perverse) shapes. I love that intensity. But I must point out its limiting nature?you scare off many folk who aren't quite so bold or foolhardy. This week, don't pretend that your laser gaze isn't capable of searing a 5000-degree hole in the hearts of whomever you choose. Discover the dimmer switch, and at least consider using it.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I open the blue metal box, and deposit the envelope. Suddenly, dread grips me. I can't stand the wait between my irrevocable decision and when it's finally received by the addressees. What if I change my mind? Luckily, the tedious and agonizing days of snail mail are over, neatly eclipsed by the instantaneous world of e-mail. Your own attempts at manifestation have been about as retarded as the U. S. Postal Service. The lag time between decision and results has been exhaustingly long. No longer, my dear: as of this week, your Universal Service Provider is back up and running. You should be seeing payoffs mere moments after you hit the
key.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) I have to appreciate the careful way he considers and reconsiders each decision. He never does anything without thinking it through thoroughly. Some of us more impulsive freaks could learn a thing or two from his Capricornian cautiousness. But sometimes you guys take it to the extreme. You've got to live, my goofy Goats! Sometimes the "right" decision is the wrong one, and vice versa! Make some mistakes this week. That means letting things happen, releasing a little control. I guarantee you'll not only learn more, you'll have a lot more fun, too.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) I despise dealing with bureaucracy. In the next two days, I have to contend with smog inspection stations, car insurance agents, banks and, worst of all, the DMV. What a miserable and grueling nightmare! I'm trying not to stress, though. It's a perfect opportunity to test out the new situation-smoothing and obstacle-lubricating talents I've spent the last year acquiring. You've picked up a new talent or two as well, haven't you? For instance, that daunting wall you're looking so bemused about?you're now agile enough to leap over it in a single bound. Not only that, your Water-Bearing Superhero powers are redundant: you're strong enough to knock it down completely.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) I'm picturing you as an exquisitely gorgeous mermaid (or merman). Somewhat immobilized by your own stellar virtues, it gets a little lonely here on the surface for someone like you. Luckily, you don't have to be able to move around much to get some action these days. Just flash that brilliant smile, lift those pert breasts (or pecs) high and flap that sparkling tail fetchingly. Then you can let those who approach in on a little secret about your glittering fish half?the crotch unzips.
Aries (March 21-April 19) I was first accused of ambition in the fourth grade, when a teacher read one of my epic stories. Since that day, I've tried to expand, improve and refine my skills in order to realize my ambitions. Being blessed with a magnificently oversized imagination yourself, I hope you'll identify. In school, you receive frequent encouragement, aid and validation when you strive to improve yourself. Out in the real world, people rarely do that for each other. Your own current goal is bobbing just a little bit out of reach. Instead of deflating it to a more modest height, I beg of you?keep up those squat thrusts! Soon you'll be leaping that high and then some, and you'll be glad you stuck to your original plan. Nice thighs, by the way.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Sometimes you climb a tree and wait and wait for those firemen to come and rescue you, and they never do. Darkness descends, and so do you, sheepish and disappointed. Why do you always have to be the strong one? When do you get to be the damsel in distress, carried swooning across the threshold in the capably powerful arms of your would-be seducer? Well, that's just the way life is, unfortunately. You're a hearty and able creature, and no one is willing to believe otherwise. That's the good news. The better news is that there are some people who are willing to pretend otherwise, for the sake of your happiness. Don't scoff at role play, Taurus. Believe me: pretending to be helpless and weak is a lot better than the real thing.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Don't act innocent. I know you rear-ended that car by accident. But when the driver, understandably upset, yelled at you, you read him a little. You could've skipped the "Loosen up, buddy" and definitely should've skipped the suggestion that a few more rear-endings would help him do so. I love your clever tongue as much as the next guy, but you're starting to resemble an unbalanced weightlifter?you've seen them, with huge pecs and tiny chicken legs. Except it's your sharp-tongued humor that's gotten too much of a workout. Work on your tact and diplomacy this week, or you might have to learn this lesson the hard way?and smart-ass comments don't get you very far in court.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) I never know how to answer the question, "Where are you from?" I could say I'm from France (born there) or New York (raised there) or California (spent most of my adult life there), or many other places. Saying I'm from the lost city of Atlantis, where I grew my superheroic powers of mental ass-kicking and psychic divination could quite possibly reveal more about my character than any of those other more "truthful" answers. Have a flexible attitude about the truth this week; you're more likely to get or give "the real story."
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Prop those eyes open. Ignore that lusciously inviting field of crimson poppies. Deny yourself the feather bed and the hot tub. You've got too many flaming fireballs in the air to stop juggling now. You're badly in need of a break, but you've got to keep flinging and catching those red hot responsibilities for the moment. Exhaustion be damned! Relaxing now could mean twice as much work whenever you decide to take up your burdens again. So hold off on that coma nap. Meanwhile, I'm petitioning the goddesses to signal a worldwide Leonine siesta. Soon as they give the word, I'll let you know it's all right to collapse.
[Caeriel@yahoo.com](mailto:caeriel@yahoo.com)