This Week's Horoscope

| 16 Feb 2015 | 04:27

    Aries (March 21-April 19) I've been thinking about you lately. I wish I could just write you a love letter every week, full of praise and adoration. You deserve it. But I fear it would make you complacent, unable or unwilling to grasp the opportunities that will lead you to fulfilling your true potential. That would not be the best way to love you, would it? So instead I deliver these well-intentioned kicks in the butt. How could I not, when you're so close to living out the dream you first had years ago? Here's the steel tip of my boot contacting your pert derriere: every single thing that happens this week is an opportunity. Consider each event?"good" or "bad"?a rung on the ladder leading to your goal. Start climbing, baby. Taurus (April 20-May 20) You're like a fast car that has slammed on the brakes. Suddenly, your insides are battling your outsides. It's because your dreams have their own inertia. Unless you really do intend to send your ambitions hurtling through the windshield, I suggest you find another way to avoid the jam your wise, practical exterior perceived. Remember, when it comes to wish fulfillment, you can make your own rules. Grow wings and fly over the stalled cars of everyone else's neglected plans. Or ignore them completely. Just convert your already fat tires into tank treads and forge your own off-road path. Gemini (May 21-June 20) This week is like those times when you were a kid and you did something bad or stupid enough to merit the threat: "You just wait until your father gets home!" Invariably, the painful anticipation was far worse than the actual punishment when it was finally delivered. (In fact, it was often a relief to have it done with at last.) Sure, you can sense the turbulence that lies ahead, but don't let your vivid imagination carry you away. Transform your dread-filled visions from bloodcurdling accidents to minor comical mishaps. Or, better yet, make them dramatic yet rectifiable glitches, smoothly erased by your capable prowess. Think of each obstacle of the week(s) ahead as just one more chance to transcend your self-image, moving easily from steamrollered victim to graceful superhero in one fell swoop. Cancer (June 21-July 22) This week I picture you doing one of two things. You could be conducting a grand orchestra of nature: Winds howl! Clouds sweep majestically across the sky! Sun trumpets through in brassy spears of light! Or, you could just sit on your ass, watching nature documentaries and the Weather Channel. Don't be lame. This week's a golden opportunity to forget about Who You've Been and practice being Who You Want To Be. Practice is key for a creature of habit like you. Do it enough, and Who You Want To Be will be Who You've Been before you know it. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) For the most part, your friends tolerate your royal attitude. But they don't revel in it. They don't get that you're not trying to lord anything over anyone. Quite the opposite. You're just trying to show them another way to be. Avoid getting (more of) a superiority complex. But don't let the peasants pull you down to their grimy level, either. Simply elevate them to yours. We can all be royalty. In this spirit, issue knighthoods, earldoms and duchies to as many of your friends as want them. It doesn't have to be lonely at the top. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) As I entered the incredibly quiet meditation chamber, I realized I'd never quite experience true silence again. My ears rang?so loudly that it almost seemed that other people should be able to hear the ringing. It'd been so long since I'd been in a truly silent place that I had no idea how bad my tinnitus had become. This week, you, too, may be surprised by how far an internal movement you set into motion long ago has been allowed to progress, unchecked. This isn't necessarily bad. For example, after I got over my initially negative reaction to the internal protests of my damaged hearing, I could hear a strange sort of beauty in it: like a distant orchestra of violins, bagpipes and lawnmowers, creating a symphony in honor of my history. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) It's easy to have an opinion about things you haven't examined closely. Surfaces are simple. When you try to understand how things look from the inside out, they get complicated. Take a rosebud, for example. At first glance, it's quite delicate and pretty, but hardly convoluted. If you take the time to watch it open, however, its intricate inner world?layers upon layers of soft, exquisite petals?unfolds to you. If you resist making snap judgments on the basis of a few wilted outer petals, the inner complexity of who people really are might blossom to you. I guarantee your life, like a rose in full glory, might become more complicated because of your new attitude?but also more beautiful. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Once someone notices a scorpion in her midst, it's hard to not pay attention to it, or deal with it in some way. It's hard to feel comfortable sharing a room with a capricious, stinging insect. You have the same difficulty going unnoticed as your namesake does. In this way, your compelling presence occasionally works against you. You may be thrilled to discover that, this week, your personal power is less like those dramatic beasts that are your sign's symbols?the scorpion, eagle and phoenix?and more like those creatures that know how to blend in: chameleons, leopards, fawns and con artists among them. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) It'd be hard for a jet surpassing the speed of sound to know what impact its passage had?by the time the sonic blast hit, the plane itself would be long gone. Likewise, the speed of your own movement makes it hard to keep tabs on whom it might affect and in what way. That is, until you hear about it later. Don't bother acting contrite or feeling guilty?it's meaningless when everyone knows you would (and will, probably) do it again. Don't even consider slowing down. You'd be insulting yourself to not use your own talents. Use 'em or lose 'em. So quit looking so remorseful. Just help clean up the shit you messed up, and be on your way. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) I don't mind that you're moving so slowly. It's good for you to take it easy once in a while. But what's happened to your courage, Capricorn? Your determination? You're about as bold as an arthritic old woman these days. Caution is fine. Preparedness is smart. But you've taken these qualities to an extreme. You're a lot less fragile than you think you are. Let's think about the humble turtle, that most careful and deliberate creature. Even he only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Making your own luck is a tricky business. It's hard to create abundant good luck without eliminating the key element: scarcity. For example, you might decide that finding a four-leaf clover is lucky. Well, there's a company that manufactures four-leaf-clover seed. Doesn't feel that lucky in a yard spread with that seed, does it? Nevertheless, it's all just a matter of perspective. If you were mining for gold, finding any would be lucky, and finding a lot would be even luckier. This week, you're due to tap into a vein so big you might feel like you hit the mother lode.