This Week's Horoscope

| 16 Feb 2015 | 04:56

    Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) It's easier to keep an even keel when looking at the big picture. Things just make sense at that level; otherwise compelling dramas reveal their finite, limited natures. When you get swept up in the daily tides of your life's events is when these petty issues can loom with the destructive force of tsunamis. That's why it's important?especially this week, when the waves are especially big and rough?to keep one foot up on dry land. Why not both feet? Well, that's one solution, but being the distant observer isn't very rewarding (or fun) most of the time, especially not for you Leos. So plant a foot solidly on a nearby sand dune and throw the rest of yourself into the fray, and simply enjoy the ride. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Thank God that Mercury retrograde is nearly over. I don't know about you, but this one fucked with me, big-time. On the short list of screw-ups I attribute to Merc's unpleasant influence: my fridge sprung a freon leak, my otherwise reliable Volvo nearly had a complete electronic meltdown, I spent veritable days stuck in murderous traffic, and bleaching my hair became a beauty salon nightmare. It's enough to make an astrological believer out of any skeptic, I should think. Once Mercury resumes its direct course, things will still go wrong, naturally?they always do. But so much will be going right for you, finally, that you'll hardly notice the occasional fuckup. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Here. Put this on your scale and weigh it. On the one hand, there's an opportunity looming, through those networking skills you've been practicing. It could be pretty lucrative, and you've got a decent chance at it. What's the catch? It might mean that you have to put aside (at least temporarily?and given the vagaries of the future, that could mean permanently) those dreams you've been nurturing like baby chicks fresh out of their eggs. It's a tough choice: accept the success that's not exactly what you envisioned, or hold true to a dream that may never (if you're completely honest with yourself) be realized? But don't jump at a decision. Without making it too easy for you, I will remind you that there are always choices that don't appear on the multiple-choice form. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Insomnia can fuck with your sense of reality, just like some drugs. Suddenly, anything becomes possible. Nothing seems too absurd. You're living a waking dream. Between those restless nights of tossing and turning, your days can take on a marvelously entertaining, surreal quality. Is your lack of sleep screwing with your perspective? Probably. But you have to at least consider the notion that your life is always this weird, and you've just never noticed it before. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I'm much more devoted to my dog than to any boyfriend. Ideally, he's the first one I greet when I get home after a long day, and the only creature I'm comfortable spending days on end with. Your own loyalties have led to some degree of frustration for you. I'm not saying forgo the devotions, but perhaps rethink the directions you aim them in. Make sure the recipients are worthy of them. Here's a test: how do they react when they haven't seen you for a long time? Their greetings don't have to include an enthusiastically wagging tail or big, slobbery kisses, but they ought to make you feel just as good. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) One of my favorite things to do on the (luckily) rare occasions when I've gotten too fucked up to carry on a decent conversation is to take a step back and listen to the general ebb and flow of the party. Periodically, it seems that everyone will take a collective breath together and a short moment of silence will reign. When you're surrounded by as many amazing and out-there people as you are, it's hard to find moments to shine, amidst all their brilliance. You know this already, but let me remind you: Shh. Listen for the gaps. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) I procrastinate about doing my laundry until I'm wearing my very last clean outfit. It's a bad habit, I know, but I despise this chore above all others, so I avoid it as long as possible. I bet you understand; you've been putting off one particularly odious task for practically as long as I've known you. But there comes a time when the weight of unfinished business hangs on you as surely as the stink of dirty clothing, and it becomes more of a relief just to get it over with than to wait yet another day. Start sorting the laundry and collecting quarters for the machine?if it's not time to tie up that particular loose end, it will be soon. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) When things are looking a bit grim, add glitter. A little sparkle can lighten up even the darkest situation, bring some beauty into an otherwise ugly scene. Okay. I admit there are times when this simply is not appropriate. But the shadowy circumstances you may have to deal with this week are guilty of taking themselves too seriously with too little reason. Not that they should be taken too lightly, either. But there's an element of loveliness and humor in them you've been ignoring. Notice it, and help everyone else to do so, too. Aries (March 21-April 19) Last night I had one of those dreams that was just madly rife with symbolism. After my second ride on a darkly surreal, subterranean river tube ride I was fond of, I discovered someone had stolen my sandals. Two of my best friends were comically mean and catty toward me, and my teeth were all loose and crumbling apart. Oh, sure, there's a lot to pick apart here. But undue focus on my subconscious musings (anxieties and all) could distract you from your own perspective. Since you've got about as much on your plate this week as I do, I say: Don't succumb to the temptation to deal with someone else's business?not when your own is backing up the plumbing. Taurus (April 20-May 20) One of your best strengths is your ability to plan ahead. So you probably resent it a little when I urge you to forgo your planning and simply live in the moment, where your splendid gift of foresight does you practically no good. All I'm doing, though, is trying to help you reap the fruits of your efforts. Since you spend so much time and energy building up to moments like these, I encourage you to enjoy them to the fullest. Then, when things have quieted down, you can go back to setting yourself up for another victory down the line. Gemini (May 21-June 20) All right, sweetheart. Quit the snap judgments. I know you're good at it. I know you pride yourself on being able to pierce layers of superficiality. But the bottom line is, people are so multifaceted that your quick evaluations of them can only sell them short. And they'll resent you for it. I'm not saying ignore your flashes of insight, your keen perceptions. Simply don't accept them as the final word on anyone. Especially this week, give people the benefit of the doubt, more than one chance, and points for effort?you'll be doubly glad you did: first, when they prove your initial impression completely wrong, and second, when they return the favor of allowing you to be as dynamic and diverse as you can be, and are.