Readers Lay Into Millionaire and the Billboard, Knipfel and Caldwell. Oh, and Cabal and MUGGER

Extreme drinking ("Maakies," 8/2)? Very pedestrian lately. I know it's summer, but tell Tony Millionaire to spend longer than a millionth of a second thinking this week.

Mark Duffy, Manhattan

Miss Ya Already

I have read some good stories on your pages, but after reading George Szamuely's "W's Oil Warriors" ("Taki's Top Drawer," 8/2), I am going to give up on your site. I have never read such claptrap anywhere else. This guy must be smoking some non-name-brand cigarettes. Your Web address has been deleted from my Favorite list.

Paul E. Sternberg, Marietta, GA

Spike's Hanging with Queens Again

MUGGER: Enough shilling for Nomar. He should come out with his Tourette's problem and help others be courageous. The best shortstop in baseball is NOT the tic-ridden Boston guy, the China Club kid in New York, that bored millionaire in Seattle or that Hispanic Mr. Rogers in Cleveland. It's Miguel Tejada of the Oakland A's. As the drag queens say with that outward hand gesture: "Learn it!"

Spike Vrusho, Brooklyn

Fingered

In your "Billboard" for 8/2 you are rather critical of the Atlanta Braves radio announcers for failing to give listeners the benefit of their expertise by explaining what advantages or disadvantages the Florida Marlins relief pitcher Antonio Alfonseca has as a result of having six fingers on each hand. However, when the Yankees met the Marlins a few weeks back, our own (let's be gracious) Tim McCarver also reported this fact without trying to analyze its effect on his performance. He did, however, let us know that having six fingers makes Alfonseca a "pterodactyl."

Ron Young, Bronx

His Unbiased Opinion

This is in response to that Nazi article that dweeb Cabal wrote ("Cheese Steaks & Crank," 8/2). I realize you were trying to express your opinion regarding the Philadelphia Republican Convention. I will honestly say that I hope that none of those fascist Republicans makes it to the White House, no matter what face they put up for the people. For this reason, I believe that you should have stuck to that subject.

You dedicated three paragraphs to your Dominican neighbors (in Washington Heights, I imagine) telling the liberal world how Dominicans are nothing more than drug dealers who listen to "crack-influenced" music and drive overdecorated, foreign cars. I happen to be a Dominican, born in the Dominican Republic and raised in New York. As a member of the "Dominican culture" I wish to express my opinion: you are an idiot. Allow me to explain why.

The "Dominican culture" does believe in door bells. Every culture (including the liberal, Greenwich Village artists and musicians) has its share of loud, obnoxious people who beep their cars instead of ringing door bells. I have to put up with this in my Bedford-Styuvesant home (one of only several Dominican families around here) almost every night. And I happen to know that my Dominican neighbors are not the ones doing this.

We don't "have a particular fondness for flamboyant sound systems in our cars." I, for one, own a 1999 Saturn with a four-speaker system and I do use the brakes. As for that crack-influenced merengue shit: Fuck you, you worthless piece of liberal shit. Merengue music was around long before the first pothead liberal dope fiend smoked the first crack "pipa" somewhere in Astor Pl. Therefore, I doubt that merengue is "crack-influenced."

The cops do nothing about that? That's because you communist fucks are always accusing the cops of racism. How can they do their jobs when you freaks go around talking all that bull.

Now, if you dislike Dominicans so much, why don't you pack your worthless ass and get out of there? Maybe you'd like to move to Rockland County in the suburbs... Nope, Dominicans living the quiet life there. Maybe higher upstate in Tarrytown... No, Dominicans own that too. There they don't play their loud music at all hours of the night, so you wouldn't be able to write all that shit. How about Long Island? Maybe Freeport, Nassau County? Nah! Dominicans have quiet homes and businesses there too. The Pacific Southwest looks tempting. It's really far from Dominican Republic. Nope, small colony of Dominicans working in the high-tech industry and teaching professions. Here's an idea: become a fascist, conservative, fundamentalist, KKK freak and move to the Bible Belt. I'm sure you won't find any Dominicans there.

Here's my final message. It's people like you that make George W. Bush look good. To me, you're just another fetus-killing, pot-smoking, coke-snorting, communist, Howard Stern-worshipping, cocksucking faggot. Do the world a favor and drop dead.

Rafael F. Diaz, Brooklyn

And You Light Up His Life

MUGGER: I am a 73-year-old grandmother and am interested in the election, and although I am a registered Republican I do vote independent. I follow your column all the time. You are an excellent writer, lay it on the line and while there are times I disagree, I still nod my head and say you are right-on. Of the lesser of the two evils I cannot imagine Gore being president?I shudder every time I think about it. Almost was bending my vote to Nader, but I was impressed with Bush's convention speech.

Keep up the good work in presenting like it is, as I never miss your column. You make my day.

Joan Chacona, Cedar Park, TX

It's Not All Bad

MUGGER: Wrong. New York magazine is as barren as ever (8/2). Why would any decent journalistic enterprise bother with Koch? He's had innumerable strokes, brought on, no doubt, by cramped jealousy of Rudy's phenomenal success. Only his intellectual peer, the incomparable ur-shmuck Al, could share such a page.

Name Withheld, Manhattan

She Was Using the New Math

New York Press continues to be the best read in town. For this reason, I call your attention to a glaring error.

In Emily Prager's "Hamptons Letter" ("New York City," 8/2), speaking of pirates and compensation for injuries, she quotes the rules of the crew of Bartholomew Roberts: "Loss of right leg, 500 pieces of eight (...$520 today...)... Loss of eye, 100 pieces of eight (...$280 today...)." I'm no mathematician, but if 500 pieces of eight equals $520, then shouldn't 100 pieces of eight equal $104? Or, conversely, if 100 pieces of eight equals $280, then doesn't it stand to reason that 500 pieces of eight would equate to $1400?

Math is an absolute, they say. You can't have it both ways. Was this equation drawn up by the "Log-Cabin Republican" whom Alan Cabal was at the Philly circle jerk with? Mathematically, it's on a par with "the economy is great, and the president is terrible!"

By the way, MUGGER: I'm pullin' for Cockburn to win that bet.

Don Stitt, Manhattan

The editors reply: It depends on what your definition of "pieces of eight" is. Prager quoted a museum installation. The exhibit's assistant curator, Kristin Grubb, informs us that the conversion from "pieces of eight" to "modern workman dollars"?the quoted figure?involved a sliding scale for reasons best understood by the pirates themselves.

Soup Bones

Taki was right on the money again on the subject of reparations for slavery ("Top Drawer," 8/2). Brent Staples is a guy who talks about things like the impact of slavery in practically every black family's history. I'll tell you what that impact is: zero.

Only an insignificant number of people even have secondhand knowledge of what things were like under slavery in the U.S. It has no influence in Americans' day-to-day thinking. Zero. This "wounds of slavery" stuff that Staples talks about is bullshit. You could argue that the Japanese internment during WWII is a similar case. But those people were citizens whose rights were violated, and this happened only about 60 years ago. They can make a credible argument for reparations. Slaves, on the other hand, were not citizens and, like it or not, had no legal basis for redress.

More than that, Staples just has the wrong attitude, and for that reason alone they should just strike down all this crap about reparations. You will never get anywhere by thinking the way he does. Think how many people came to this country with nothing and made something of themselves. More than 80 percent of the millionaires in the U.S. are self-made. They didn't sit around and whine about how the government wasn't helping them. If Staples is interested in the welfare of black people and not just whining, let him chew on that a while.

Joe Rodrigue, New Haven

Caldwell, Lapdog of the Left

Regarding Christopher Caldwell's "impression" that Lynne Cheney doesn't know about Mozart, et al.: he doesn't state any reason for his impression ("Hill of Beans," 8/2). He is taken aback that she dared to be upset that a glass of wine was spilled on her and that she didn't just shrug it off like most phony people would. And, further, seems to imply that because it was E.J. Dionne of The Washington Post who did it, she should have felt almost honored.

Caldwell also seems to be on the politically correct side of class warfare! I bet he uses the term "working people." Well, I got news for him and the other p.c.-ers. My wife and I are part of the group of "rich" people. We work an average of 70 hours a week, we went to college while holding down full-time jobs and did it without government money! We refuse to feel guilty about working hard to achieve a good salary. We both come from poor families and we worked our way out of it! If Caldwell and the other "progressives" want to feel guilty, fine, but why must they try to tear down those of us who don't?

Ted Whittlinger, Torrance, CA

Caldwell, the Progressives' Puppet

Re: Christopher Caldwell's piece on Lynne Cheney: What a gross, stupid, article.

Name Withheld, Los Angeles

Log Cabin Rolling

MUGGER: I enjoy your weekly pieces very much. I find myself in great agreement with you most of the time. As a New Yorker exiled to California for the last 11 years, you keep me in touch with real life in NYC. Thanks so much.

One problem: I'm a diehard Yankees fan, have been all my life (I spent most summer afternoon as a kid at Yankee stadium?crazed over Mickey and Roger) and HATE the Bosox. But please keep writing. Dubya will be the next prez, thank God. I'm a gay guy, but I cannot stomach the Clinton/Gore crowd.

John Hickey, Dublin, CA

Jackoff Parties?

There's no such thing as too much Jim Knipfel, or even enough, for that matter. When his biweekly column doesn't appear in the Press, I can find something by him on the Net. Thank you. Except for Knipfel, isn't there anything else you and your contributors can come up with to write about? I'm so sick of all the tedious political rhetoric and commentary, and it's only the beginning of August.

Barbara Pryce, Brooklyn

Has Caldwell Turned Coat?

Chris Caldwell: Your defense of HRC is pathetic ("Hill of Beans," 7/26) and if you'd get off your knees and quit defending the Clintons, maybe folks would take you serious. You doubt that she said "FJB." What's to doubt about her saying a Jewish slur, especially since she's known for her vicious temper and foul mouth? It was reported years ago by Trooper Larry Patterson that she used that phrase repeatedly, but what would you care about facts? This administration is the most corrupt that I have seen in my lifetime and closely resembles a crime syndicate. You seem to put party affiliation before the good of the country.

Regarding Lisa Boscola, I went to a Stones concert and did not pass out in the bathroom or lift my skirt up to my waist. Her behavior is out of control but is typical for a Democrat. Your heart goes out to her? Are you an idiot or what? You've made every excuse in the book to justify bad or criminal behavior. But without standards, this is what you get.

Anne M. Cunningham, Los Alamitos, CA

But He Invented the Alphabet

MUGGER: I shall attempt to be brief. You have greatly upset me. You unfairly characterize our Vice President Albert Gore as a pretentious elitist who talks down to us as if we were "mentally challenged grade-schoolers" (8/2). Nothing could be further from the truth. Doubtless, you think he is purposely speaking in simple words and in a slow measured cadence. Well, this is most unfair. Al Gore is speaking in the only words he knows. And he talks just as fast as he can think!

In any case, he can't talk any faster than his teleprompter. And his crew inserts those cute little pictograms for the words he doesn't know, thus slowing his speech while he tries to remember what they mean.

Shame on you for being an elitist! Perhaps you learned to read when you were three years old. Well, you should have more sympathy for those who are still struggling with it.

Tom Harrington, Tucson

He's a Little Busy

Re: Alexander Cockburn's piece on Ralph Nader ("Wild Justice," 7/26). I would like to add that I wrote Mr. Nader (at his P.O. box) last year with the suggestion that he adopt a slogan/motto like "Trustworthiness Personified." I thought it was uniquely apt, a description that even his detractors would have to admit to.

There was no response to that letter. You, yourself, might try to make this motto known.

Laurence Alter, Manhattan

He Smiteth the Wicked

I was half asleep lounging through your paper when I came upon Jim Knipfel's "Legislating Irresponsibility" ("Editorial," 8/2) and I am in utter disbelief. Lemme see if I get this right: it's okay to discard my child within the first five days of giving birth as long as I leave my bundle of joy in a safe place, unharmed? Oh my God! What is this world coming to? We are so off-base that this is now okay? I am a 29-year-old female, and I never dreamed for a thousand years that a law like this could be passed. It only goes to show that the Bible was/is right: these are indeed the last days... Prepare to meet your god.

Diane Pearce, Brooklyn

The Godfrey Edition

I like your New York Press style and would like to see it in the Research Triangle of North Carolina. The area is filled with New Yorkers searching for a taste of the old home. Have you given any thought to running a local version of it, e.g., the ads of NC with the same articles from the original New York Press?

Name Withheld, Durham, NC

It's Fundamental

MUGGER: Great!!! You enlighten the world... If only the world could read.

Paul Buchanan, Harrisburg, NC

King of Comedy

MUGGER: Love your column, and I can't wait to read it. But there are times like this week when you are on the very top of your game, when you are the best there is. I just loved this week's column, laughed all the way through. Still, horrified that the people you ridicule are running the country. Anyway, keep up the good work. Thanks for all your insight and all the laughs.

Joel Berman, Palm Harbor, FL

Bubba-Q

MUGGER: I read your column on the Internet in Indianapolis, IN. I write because you happened to mention my hometown of Owensboro, KY, in your (8/2) column. As a city of around 60,000 in Kentucky, Owensboro doesn't receive (or deserve, really) that much national attention. However, there are a couple of interesting political stories I'd thought I'd pass along.

In 1992, I had the chance to see Al Gore and Dan Quayle speak in Owensboro on the same day. At the time, there was speculation that both VP candidates making appearances in the same town on the same day had rarely, if ever, occurred in modern times. I had volunteered to assist the local Democratic Party with voter registration, so I got a front-row seat for Al's speech. To this day, I am stunned at the vile hatred spewing from Gore's mouth. As a political science major, I understood that the VP was the attack dog, but I never saw someone enjoy it so much.

After the speech, I ran to my car, raced across town and caught Dan Quayle's speech. Even after four years, he still seemed like a lightweight, even though his speech was better than Gore's.

My father told me that President Clinton made a stop in Owensboro a couple of months ago (I guess KY is a key state this year), and stopped by Moonlight Restaurant for some of their world-famous barbecue (and it is). Anyway, my father tells me that he spoke to several people who were there and said that the President had unbelievable charisma, and shook hands with every single person in the place. The funny part was that, apparently, the Secret Service told everyone not to move until the President left. This resulted in one old lady raising her hand and asking the President if she could use the restroom; the President laughed and led her to the restroom. It also resulted in one attractive female sitting on the lap of another, and when Clinton got to them he said to the girl on the bottom, "Wanna trade places?"

Anyway, I enjoy your column, and keep up the good work.

Stephen Edds, Indianapolis

We'll Buy That

Re: John Strausbaugh's 7/19 "Editorial" and subsequent letters: All I can say is that if you look at a billboard that advertises cigarettes, see the Surgeon General's warning on that billboard, read it and then proceed to buy a pack and smoke it, perhaps you are not an absolutely vital member of the gene pool.

Zoltan Boka, Manhattan

One Fan Left in Tinytown

MUGGER: Good review of the current state of politics (8/2). I believe Gore has no chance this fall. Bush is staying positive and his pick of Cheney was great. If the worst the Dems can say about Cheney is that he's a Bush Sr. groupie from the past, then that's a good thing. I see the choice as W being very mature and clear-thinking. Cheney has a great record?no showboating?just a solid, conservative public servant. Bush surrounding himself with a battle-tested elder statesman shows me sound judgment.

Also, about your trip to Boston: you were right to visit the Union Oyster House. I never miss it when I'm in town. It may be a "tourist" stop, but their chowder is first-rate and there is something special about sitting at the raw bar drinking a schooner of beer where so many great men of the past have sat.

Growing up in Connecticut?as a fan looking for a team?you either cheered for New York or Boston. I, too, have been a long-suffering fan waiting for the end of the Curse of the Bambino. I haven't been this ready for October since 1986. I'm taking the family to Camden Yards tonight, our first such outing of the year. Barring thunderstorms, it should be a great night. At five and three, my two boys still aren't sitting through nine innings, but if we make it through five, I'll consider it a victory. Have you noticed the changes in the O's roster? That bastard Angelos needs to stop fashioning himself after Steinbrenner and hire a solid GM to run the team.

Keep up the good work. I'll toast your column tonight at the Wharf Rat.

James Malone, Baltimore

Home of Poca Dots?

MUGGER:

1. Saw Carville on Russert whine about Cheney and Bush not going to Vietnam?and bragging about that five-month tour Gore pulled as a 71Q (reporter for the unit newspaper) in Saigon.

2. Drudge had something about Carville going international (didn't know this) advising the PRI in Mexico and elections elsewhere including Israel. Does Carville's out-of-country work not compromise our foreign policy?

3. Forget the question in No. 2. Our foreign policy is blowing up Third World countries to distract attention when the Pizza Girl testifies to the grand jury.

Don Surber, Poca, WV

Dershowitz Smoked Out

MUGGER: Your latest column amused me, but not to my surprise. Thanks again for laying out the facts on the media. I can stand the pols since they have never held an honest job and we get what we vote or not vote for.

I have one suggestion for a future column of yours. Did you notice the attacks on conservatives for taking corporate money? They say only conservatives are on the take, looking for a quick buck, etc. Well, did you notice one left-leaning socialist liberal, Alan Dershowitz, now suing other sharks in Florida for his share of the 1997 $11.3 billion tobacco suit? He put in about 100 hours of work and is suing for $34 million in legal fees. Do you think he would charge that much for a divorce case? Tell me the liberals only want what is good for the poor.

Kenneth Parady Grand Rapids, MI

Groan-Up

Thanks for the truthful and honest assessment of the shameful bias at The New York Times ("Editorial," 7/26). Evidence of this was no more apparent than in Maureen Dowd's recent column, "A Baby Sitter for Junior," on Bush's choice of Dick Cheney for VP. As a regular Times reader, I was totally offended that she chose to pass off brutal ad hominem attacks as any sort of serious journalism.

David Muccia, Manhattan

Cheney as Pain Reliever

MUGGER: Excellent column. As a transplanted Bostonian (North End) now working in Manhattan and living across the Hudson in New Jersey, I thoroughly enjoy your perceptive comments about Boston, its newspapers and personalities, dysfunctional politicians and the Red Sox.

If I may, Ridge would have been a bad veep choice for Bush, and not just because of his abortion stand. Like McCain, Ridge enjoys playing the maverick. During his tenure in the House, he often voted against the Reagan administration, for no other reason than to be contrary. In other words, he's a pain in the ass. More generally, Bush is shoring up his base by selecting Cheney. Choosing Ridge would not have done that. Bush Sr. in 1992 and Dole both failed to shore up the Republican base, and lost in large part because of it.

Paul M. DeSisto, Cedar Grove, NJ

Missed Manners

My guess is that if a conservative had spilled a glass of milk on Hillary, she would have picked it up and thrown it at him, called him a F*&&%J#%B$#%^, and had him audited by the IRS.

Suzanne Carpenter, Litchfield Park, AZ

From the Neck

We're now thoroughly familiar with Press' rants against all things liberal and good and its regular polishing of a certain Texas longhorn. What's new is the growing cult of MUGGER fans (MUGGER Huggers, or MUGHugs). It's a sociological phenomenon that can make your skin crawl but one that responsible citizens must try to understand.

Of course, a few MUGHugs are just the old-fashioned piney woods pig fuckers, now with an Internet connection, who are so impressed by any written word they assume the author must know what he's talking about. The more common species appears to be, as gleaned from the letters to their newfound hero, something along these lines: white and male, of course. Best years were ninth-11th grades, when he aced all the tests without studying; cultivated his cold, dismissive stare and aloof silence; collected something, say German war medals or theme songs from tv shows; and always made his parents, teachers and peers a little nervous. He eschewed college for a small computer firm that promised an IPO. The hours were long, but he never missed a day and did solid though not brilliant work. Then, in his mid-20s, the world caved in. The company was gobbled up (ironically, by one of the Press' beloved corporate monsters) and he was immediately let go. In the same month, his mother became ill, and he had to return home to care for her. He became a manager at a copy store. He was bitter, alone and a little too smart for his own good. Accordingly, he became a Libertarian. This was a start. He got regular mail and found the party's sophism easy to learn and imitate. He became a political junkie and had C-SPAN on at the store.

But he felt leaderless. There was still no one out there to really speak for him. Limbaugh was too coarse. Howard Stern was fun but too nonpolitical. He looked for heroes during the impeachment and instead had to watch the Republicans, once again, get mauled by Clinton and the press. They were so ineffectual, and even he had to acknowledge that the foot soldiers in that battle?freaks like Linda Tripp, Bob Barr and Kenneth Starr?were too weird and creepy, while Clinton's people, Ruff and the others, were of course evil but obviously had more class.

And then one day, while clicking on the links listed in the Drudge Report, he found MUGGER. Here was someone who lived in the very bowels of the beast, slashing at its innards, every week putting all those pretty, sophisticated people in their places. Here was someone whose disdain for the establishment (the liberal one) burned ever hot, a ferocious champion of life's shadow government. When MUGGER said, "Fuck The New York Times," he felt whole and strong.

The poor boy now had a voice.

James Day, Berkeley

MUGGER to the Rescue

MUGGER: Bravo on your 8/2 column. What a breath of fresh air in this Democratically biased smog of NYC. Do you think the liberal establishment will ever stop trying to justify its immoral deeds by claiming the moral highground?

Name Withheld, Manhattan

Mr. Lonely

MUGGER: In a city full of vicious liberals and overeducated simpletons, you, my man, stand nearly alone. Other than New York Press and the New York Post, few are willing to shed light on this treacherous fraud, aka Hillary. Keep up the fine work.

Jack Henry, Staten Island

Chowda

MUGGER: I grew up in the North End of Boston, and currently live about 28 miles north but still in Massachusetts. I, like you, think that Jeff Jacoby got a raw deal (7/12). But are the actions of that liberal rag any reason to hate Boston? Yes, it is true that most Bostonians think that New York is a shithole that no one in their right mind would want to live in (myself included). Most people here think outside that bullshit Yankees/Sox rivalry when they speak of their distaste for New York City.

The stereotypical New Yorker is pushy, loud and obnoxious (and please don't mistake this for some crypto-Nazi, Jew-baiting statement). I went through New York City twice (drove through) and from what I saw from I-95 it don't look too fucking good.

By the way, in Boston you stand "in line" not "on line." I can tell a New Yorker trying to pass instantly when they say "on line." Boston three weeks ago, now St. Lucia? Where did you get to learn this jetset lifestyle? It is now clear that Padre did not impart it on you.

Trone Abeetin, Methuen, MA

It's a Matter of Perspective

MUGGER: I read your 8/2 comments on Maureen Dowd and couldn't agree more. You've been around NYC for a long time, and have followed the various op-ed writers, so maybe you can explain it. Whatever happened between Maureen Dowd and the Bush family that Dowd becomes this shrill, scoffing witch every time she writes about them? Her mocking of the younger George is just mind-numbing in its regularity, and borders on vicious.

Also, I can't resist a little dig. I don't think you needed to devote a whole column to The New York Times' lack of objectivity ("Editorial," 7/26). Even we folks out here in the great, unwashed masses in the Midwest have no trouble figuring out where the Times is coming from.

Steve Hume, Canton, MI

Dynasty Reruns

This country should be ashamed if it acts like a monarchy and elects George "DumbBellYou" Bush to its highest office just because his father was the president?instead of electing him for his credentials, experience and smarts, three things he lacks in abundance.

Name Withheld, Steubenville, OH

The Unchosen People

In his review of Norman Podhoretz's book My Love Affair with America ("Books," 7/26), Douglas Davis said the author is "genuinely attracted to what he considers the core value of American society and democracy: its tolerance of divergent races, languages and cultures."

Surely the self-proclaimed "cheerful conservative" Podhoretz must have read such publications as the National Review and The Weekly Standard. For years the one-culture right-wing has been crusading with increasing zeal for "one America" or "one people" who are "united by a common culture" and against ethnic diversity or what the right-wing calls "the menace of multi-culturalism" that supposedly threatens to "fragment the nation into a scattering of ethnic tribes."

Everybody has bias so let me state mine now. I am a proud Italian-American with a short fuse for so-called "traditionalists" who think Bernini and Botticelli were hitmen for Capone. That includes millions and millions of right-wing reactionaries who call themselves "traditionalists" like they have a patent on the word but whose knowledge of "tradition" goes as far back as Shirley Temple and Tin Pan Alley. Their "one culture" isn't Florentine.

Many are pro-censorship, blaming movies and rock songs and video games for tons of youth crime and bad sex. This sounds ridiculous to anyone who has been to the grand opera and knows that Puccini's Tosca does not provoke seduction and stabbing, torture on a rack or high-leap suicide. But try telling that to "cherished yesteryear" conservatives who dread anything stronger than Doris Day movies and Moonlight Bay songs!

Mr. Podhoretz has every right to be pleased about the preservation of Jewish culture in America. However, Italian, Greek, Spanish, etc., heritages are catching increasing cannon blasts from right of center. In the April 3, 2000, issue of the National Review , John O'Sullivan's "Our Inglorious Revolution" piece called ethnic diversity "a bastard ideal." Bet the farm that candidate Bush won't utter that while wooing ethnic and immigrant and minority "swing votes." Hide the one-culture right, he will, until after November.

Greg Donio, Manhattan

White-Out House

It is amazing to me how the mainstream media is spinning the loving family relationship between George W. Bush and his dad. The remarkable thing about the entire extended Bush family is how decent they all are. Most Americans could do a lot worse than use this family as a role model. In the meantime, the Democrats and the media have nothing to say about their primary political dynasty, the Kennedys, where decency is the exception, and whose gene pool more closely resembles a cesspool.

What a concept for the anti-family Dems! An ex-president helping his son, who was elected and reelected governor of the second largest state in the union! This same president has a second son, Jeb, who is governor of another major state, Florida. This is a pretty impressive record for a dad, don't you think? Yeah, he broke his promise of "Read my lips, no new taxes!" and paid the price. Besides that, he was a pretty good president, a genuine war hero in WWII, the youngest commissioned naval officer at the tender age of 18, who successfully led us during Desert Shield and Storm. How many of the critics can compare what they were doing at age 18 with what George H.W. Bush was doing?

Look who we replaced him with! The entire White House will have to be hosed down and fumigated on Jan. 20, 2001, to remove all the remaining semen stains and drug paraphernalia.

Now we have a guy, George W, who defeated a popular, Clintonesque governor in Texas, Ann Richards, who had ridiculed his dad at the Democrat's 1988 convention. He was then reelected in a landslide, doubling the percentage of votes by blacks. Don't you think it is impressive when minorities will double their support for a Republican governor, in spite of all the demonizing that the Democrat Party engages in? Surprise, surprise, George W. has solid support from both Republicans and Democrats in Texas, unlike Slick Willie, who has raised extreme partisanship to a fine art in Washington. And the liberals are still attacking him as daddy's boy! Amazing!

Mario Goveia, Toledo

Gone Fishin'

Campaign season underway. GOP convention wrapped up. Carville unleashed, half-crazed as usual. Every left-leaning op-ed nitwit extant smirkingly taking a piñata whack at "compassionate conservatism." Los Angeles looming, ripe with the promise of watching Al attempting Spanish and trying to talk "black." Where're them Friday morning e-MUGGERS when we need 'em most?

Lou Manzato, New Orleans

Topiary Politics

MUGGER: Look, I'm hopelessly biased in this. The first time I heard Shrub speak, I thought he was nothing more than a callow rich kid with a famous name?and I knew plenty at Harvard?and nothing he's done since has changed my mind. But, and I'm eager to hear your take on this: He seemed stiffer than usual at the convention; none of the usual easy charm?even Fratboy presidents get nervous in the right context?and the speech was an ungainly amalgam of cliches and overly familiar rhetoric. Or maybe it's just me.

By the way, when the delegates cheered the line "the soft bigotry of low expectations," were they for it or against it?

Name Withheld, Los Angeles

Pots, Kettles

MUGGER: I can't believe I'm writing a fan letter, but your most recent column impressed me so much that I had to send kudos your way.

I used to really admire Al Gore because of the way he put his son's health above his political aspirations. Remember when his boy was hit by a car after an Orioles game and spent so much time at Johns Hopkins? Now I get the impression that he would use such a situation for political advantage. The words you use to describe him, shallow and craven, are right on target. Tipper, too, has been a huge disappointment by the way she has kissed the collective behinds of Hollywood and the music industry instead of defending her previous stand that parents should be aware of inappropriate material on albums. What a duplicitous duo. Add them to the crew of Democrats who have pushed me, a former moderate, further and further to the right.

I would like someone to explain to me what has changed for them since the impeachment process. Remember how the Democratic shills screeched, "Well, we certainly don't want Al Gore to become president" over and over? I'd like to see commercials full of clips containing people like Susan Estrich and Eleanor Clift chanting that mantra just to remind the rest of the country of their total lack of integrity.

I'd also like to thank you for your digs at the "Ivy League-educated media." Thank God for the Internet. I am so grateful for the opportunity to stay informed without having to resort to the "lamestream" shows and papers. Cable news has deteriorated as well, so I appreciate columns such as yours. It's wonderful to read great writing, even if I don't always agree with your points. The work of Camille Paglia, Christopher Hitchens, Jonah Goldberg, Deb Weiss and yourself should be required reading in college courses, but fat chance of that happening.

Finally, perhaps you can explain this aspect of the media because it certainly perplexes me: Do they not see their blatant hypocrisy? The pundits currently covering the convention keep harping on the "false face" of the Republicans (they just seem to be inclusive but we know better, wink wink). However, what do all of these commentators have in common: Claire Shipman, Jonathan Alter, Chris Matthews, Brit Hume, Mara Liasson, Mort Kondracke, Tom Brokaw, Maria Shriver, Jim Lehrer, Alan Colmes, and so on and so on? Yeah, they're all white. Great diversity there. They see no racism in their insinuation that people such as Alan Keyes, Clarence Thomas, Ward Connerly, Condi Rice, Ken Hamblin, Thomas Sowell, Gregory Kane, Armstrong Williams, Walter Williams, Jesse Lee Peterson (and I could go on) are "misguided." They see nothing wrong with bashing the "Bush dynasty" while idolizing the Kennedy clan. They can't stand Linda Tripp but would have gushed over her had she been a Democrat. As Deb Weiss noted, Lifetime TV would have made her story into a movie of the week.

Thanks for giving me something to look forward to reading. When The Baltimore Sun is the only paper in town, and the Orioles are stinking up the joint, sometimes hope is hard to find.

Teresa Wilkins, Millersville, MD