Debating Large Breasts; Slivka on Conservatives; More Best of Manhattan Fallout; Is Gore Gay?
When Tanya Richardson writes ("Falsies: Fashion Hears the Call of Gigantic Ta-Ta's," 10/4), "when Betsey designed her spring line around the Playboy image, she designed that line around a man's idea of voluptuous, which means gigantic ta-ta's," she makes a common mistake. In reality, men prefer reasonably proportioned women, with hip and bust measurements roughly equal, and not especially thin. (I'll spare you the footnotes, but a quick search on the Web turns up many academic studies that confirm this.) But since pornography requires exaggeration to make its effect, we are shown cartoon bodies having cartoon sex.
It's too bad that women don't understand this, but then, perhaps men have a complementary problem: they look at women's pornography (bodice-rippers, chick flicks, Cosmopolitan) and think that these cartoonish, contrived fantasylands truly express what women want. (They don't, do they? Say it ain't so, Tanya!)
Also: girls of all ages, don't worry about "practicing which way to position yourself on a bed during make-out sessions"! If Richardson is like most women, when a guy first touches her breasts he's way too happy just being there to critique the exact shape, size and firmness of the mammaries in question; and nine times out of 10 his eyes are closed, because you're making out!
Eric Grunin, Manhattan
There Usually Is
There's a lot of truth in what Andrey Slivka says. Too much of today's conservatism is conspicuous consumption by another name. And?much as I enjoy his tirades against The New York Times?MUGGER's as guilty of it as anyone.
But if a Republican who's willing to meet the modern welfare state halfway, if not further, doesn't stand a chance of fair and equitable media coverage, how in God's name can Slivka or anyone else bang his spoon on the high-chair in outrage over the Vanishing True Conservative? How many journalists were scarfing donuts on the Alan Keyes bus this past summer who weren't already marginalized voices from the hinterlands? Which network hairdos stopped licking Gary Bauer's doorknobs long enough to interview him without suppressing a sneer? Ninety percent of the Fourth Estate can't even say "Republican" without an audible shudder of contempt, and now Slivka chides us for not rallying around a Whig?
Lou Manzato, New Orleans
Who Wants to...
Please thank Tony Millionaire for his 10/4 "Maakies" strip. It's right up there with the one about the dilemma over whether white wine or red goes better with mermaid.
Mark Duffy, Manhattan
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow
Though it rankles me to do it, I find that I agree with Ted Rall ("The Mail," 10/4). Your slam on Tom Tomorrow was screwy and preposterous. However, your attack of Ted Rall was magnificent and right on the money!
Tony Millionaire, Los Angeles
How's Del Doin'?
Really enjoyed Russ Smith on Monday morning's broadcast on C-SPAN. One comment?Mr. Smith, I was tempted to switch to another channel because I felt like upchucking every time you answered or commented. Your continual use of "and-um-uh," "um-uh" over and over again distracted me from your comments, which I usually agreed with. If formulating an answer or comment, don't try to fill dead air with these annoying sounds. It was almost like Al Gore with his constant sighs, etc., during the presidential debates.
Otherwise?good job!
Mrs. Del Peters, Troy, MI
And Still Do, in Cooper Square
Chris Caldwell's "Hill of Beans," like most of the writing in your paper, is refreshingly iconoclastic, with a touch of innocence and belief. Right on, as they used to say!
Dave Chiriboga, Galveston, TX
How About "Fuck You, Creep"?
Hey MUGBAG, what have you got to say about your precious Red Sux now, ballsack?
Name Withheld, Manhattan
Andy, Don't Bother
Regarding Andrew Baker's reply to Theodore Allison's letter in the 10/4 "Mail," I'm curious as to what makes Baker such an expert on The Truth. He is a visitor to Paris arguing with people who live there and know it thoroughly. He's so eager to debunk what he calls the mythology of Paris that he rushes to judgment based on a few experiences, and declares his fantastic conclusions to be The Truth.
Furthermore, Allison is right. Baker doesn't even have his facts straight. His lack of journalistic thoroughness in this case betrays his zeal in wanting to disparage a city he obviously dislikes, for whatever reason.
Kay Min, Manhattan
Alantown
Bravo to Alan Cabal. This fortysomething shall keep a copy of his "Best Things About Being a Middle-Aged Guy in New York" (9/27).
Robert Laszcz, Oakville, Ontario
Someday She'll Want to Date Us, Tom
To add to the Thomas Friedman canon ("I and I: The World According to Tom Friedman," Alexander Cockburn, 9/27), one should mention his recent paean to sweatshops. Included in his praise was the startling assertion that he would be comfortable with his own daughters working in one. Let's wait and see.
Richard Klin, Brooklyn
No Pain, No...
"I'm Talkin' Trash: New York's National Embarrassment, By Russ Smith" (9/27):
Now this headline I can buy! Merely eliminate "By" and the truth will out!
If he didn't own the paper, he couldn't publish that crap in a high-school newspaper.
David Gaine, Manhattan
Carrie Nation Hits NY
I enjoyed reading Christopher Caldwell's "Best Dark-Horse Democratic Candidate for Governor, 2002" bit in his 9/27 "Personal Bests" piece. I just cannot fathom why New Yorkers (who have always been proud of their intellectual independence) would stoop so low as to actually vote for a person who so clearly embodies everything that is wrong with the political system in our nation. Hillary Clinton has never been elected to public office before, and is not even from New York. She encouraged and supported Bill Clinton's merciless slaughter of innocent civilians in NATO's barbaric and illegal war against Yugoslavia. She will stop at nothing to achieve her aims, differing little in mentality from her husband (birds of a feather?).
Do New Yorkers really wish to entrust one of their most important political offices to someone who will not act in their best interests, but rather will act on behalf of corporate, big money and partisan interests?
There must be someone from your city who can do better. Remember, it's your choice.
As one who has observed Maureen Dowd since the time that she was a cub reporter assigned to Ronald Reagan's 1976 campaign against Gerald Ford, I must take exception to your rating of the New York Times columnist in the "Media & Politics" section of your 9/27 Best of Manhattan issue ("Best Fourth-Rate Imitation of Maureen Dowd").
Conservatives consistently complain that reporters and columnists are "liberals" who let their personal ideologies color their writing and analysis. Yet when she brings no bias to her reporting, you complain that Dowd has "no core beliefs."
It is precisely because Ms. Dowd brings no ideological ax to grind to her columns that she is effective. As a true neutral who is able to point out the hypocrisy and phoniness of both liberals and conservatives, Republicans and Democrats, Dowd is a refreshing naysayer who often assaults the conventional wisdom of the political elites.
President Nixon once told me that "Maureen Dowd has the sharpest pen in the press corps." Amen.
Roger Stone, Manhattan
Soup Bones
Re: Your editorial "Conservatives?" (10/4): "Conservative" basically means don't change any more than you have to, be cautious. It's not necessarily incompatible with sustainable energy or conservation. After all, how would you describe the conservation of resources?is that not a conservative strategy?
The profligism in the U.S. comes from being rich and shallow. In Vietnam, for example, the level of recycling is astonishing, because the Vietnamese don't have a choice. In America, outside of the really environmentally conscious types, who are a small minority, everyone is at least moderately profligate?not just conservatives.
And Gore? The man who takes a fleet of limos to go two blocks in Washington, DC, is not exactly a poster child for moderate consumption.
I agree that many conservatives are not the most forward-thinking people on environmental issues, and that they could certainly stand improvement. But they are not necessarily profligate. Gore, on the other hand, is corrupt to the core and adheres to no principle other than his own ambition?and his record on the environment is terrible. True, the Post is barking up the wrong tree here, but who can blame them for thinking that Gore's environmentalism is phony?
Joe Rodrigue, New Haven
Mentored Glenn Miller
I really enjoyed your 9/27 Best of Manhattan issue. However, I have a question for you: Why the obsession with The New York Times' Stephen Holden ("Best Self-Deluding Branch of Journalism")?
A few months ago, he wrote an article about new albums from Lou Reed and Patti Smith and you were all over him...for writing about artists who are the same age he probably is.
Now you bitch that his reviews (and the reviews of other critics over 50) "might seriously impinge on the careers of young musicians."
Since Holden usually reviews film and cabaret, I don't think he's written many (any?) articles about the "new music" or "new bands." He seems to stick with his contemporaries, artists like Joni Mitchell, Barbra Streisand, etc.
Maybe he hasn't danced the night away on E during some rave in the 1990s, but I'm sure he hasn't used his influence to seriously impinge on the careers of young musicians.
PS: I filled out your lengthy New York Press readers' survey several months ago, yet have never received the promised New York Press t-shirt. What gives?
Jeff Stevenson, Manhattan
Oh Yeah, She's A Real Pig
Your piece on Mena Suvari ("Best New Actress Who Looks Like Someone Was a Little Too Aggressive with the Forceps," 9/27), was absolutely brilliant. I too always thought that she was a bit, shall we say, weird. You know, a real-life freak, kind of like Michael Jackson.
Well, my best bud and I thought we were going to pass out as we took turns trying to read it to each other. Kudos for almost putting me in a coma once again.
Katherine Kiszkiel, Queens
Eight Is Enough
Your Best of Manhattan issue was fun, but two articles complained about commercials that kept showing up over and over ("Best Aggravating Media Ad Campaign" and "Best Reason Not to Buy McNeil Stock"). While this is certainly annoying, it is because these products are honoring the Screen Actors' Guild strike by not shooting new commercials with scab actors. The strike has been in effect since May 1, and until it's settled, only companies that have signed an interim agreement or those that are willing to work with scabs are actively shooting new spots. Until then it is the companies like Nike, AT&T and GM that are shooting new stuff, but strike-breaking. The older spots are not. Got it?
David Achelis, Manhattan
That's the Way
Bless you for nailing that New York Times ad campaign horrorshow ("Best Aggravating Media Ad Campaign"). I have personally cracked my shin, dislocated my shoulder and split my lip open in any number of mad dashes for the remote to avoid this thing. Next time, I think I'll just strafe the tv and be done with them.
Name Withheld, Via Internet
Bob's Got Issues, We Guess
MUGGER: Yours was not an idle boast. This was the best Best of Manhattan issue. (Although I've only been a New York Press reader since '92.)
If you're looking to add categories for next year, how about "Best Place to Find Adult Advertising in a Manhattan Print Source." And "Best Answer to Your Son When He Realizes His Father's a Maggot Who Sells Dirty Pictures."
Robert I. Goldstein, Manhattan
Homo Politicus
MUGGER: Is it me, or did Al Gore behave far more womanly than usual during the first debate? All the sighs, exasperated "tss" sounds and downright bizarre facial and speech patterns made Gore seem like he was running for queen rather than president. I do not mean to disparage gay men at all. It is just that there is something downright creepy about Gore.
I was also disappointed in Bush, who didn't attack Gore as viciously as he should have on his lies, lies and lies. Instead, he behaved like a man dealing with a woman with severe PMS.
Ronald Wood, Farmington, MI
He Doesn't Drive
MUGGER: In your 9/13 column, you called Al Gore "oily." Seems you clean forgot the unleaded fact that Dubya & Dick are the twin oiliest pair to spurt in the public eye since old man Rockefeller himself.
Put that in your tank and rev it, MUGGER!
Howard Berland, Bronx
Planet Waves
Was it the pesticides this summer or the Veep himself, scrounging around Radio City Music Hall for entertainment dollars, who passed on his Tourette's syndrome of hyperbole and diseased disrespect for the English language to Andrey Slivka?
Slivka's outpouring of boomer guilt in his 10/4 editorial, "Conservatives?", is truly uncommon for a man of his age. The New York Post is right to laugh it up over Gore's gaffes, like his comparing the menace of American materialism to Hitler (although, on reflection, it's not particularly funny). Our society's tendency to consume its hideous diet of cultural and material trash is foul and irresponsible, but is not in the same time-space continuum with a man who could send millions of Jews, gypsies and homosexuals, among others, to their graves.
Slivka believes this perverse exaggeration "resembles an expression of fact"? Give yourself a pat on the back for equivocating on that line, Andrey?you saved yourself further embarrassment.
As for the rest of this screed: "Conservatives" don't "conserve." Very clever. This sounds like the kind of insipid platitude that might emerge after a bonghit or a Greenpeace meeting at Vassar. First of all, Gore's radical environmentalism has about as much to do with "mainstream" liberalism as your "profligism" has to with "mainstream" conservatism. Our nation's "profligism" isn't exclusive to liberals or conservatives, much less the phantom "mainstream" of either group. There are plenty of liberals steamrolling the suburban (and urban, for that matter) landscape in off-road vehicles. Indeed, the proverbial conservative of our hinterlands probably has more business with a 4-by-4 than the liberal soccer mom whose Suburban's "safety" comes at the expense of the poorer man driving his Chevette. Slivka's ivory-tower vision of the political scene seems to have been refracted through the hazy gray lenses of your hated New York Times.
Remove the shades and leave that island once in a while and you'll find a conservative political culture out there that covers a far greater multiplicity than your "mainstream" notion would have it. Start with the environmental tendencies of your own governor and look past the Hudson to the success of Ward Connerly's education reforms, the crossover appeal (however demagogic) of John McCain or even Bush's "compassionate conservatism" (however short-lived). America's political culture is fragmenting and coalescing into increasingly complex patterns and hybrids, to which conservatism is not immune.
Painting an anachronistic mural of conservative plutocrats versus eco-correct liberals has been the purview of the Village Voice and not New York Press. Get over it, because it's sanctimonious, sophomoric, boring, untrue and?worst of all?uncharacteristic, both of Slivka and the Press.
Montgomery Engel, San Francisco
Mission Abort
MUGGER: Hey, I don't know what Bush would do about abortion. But I do know that his intentionally vague statements, passing on the Christian Coalition lovefest, etc., are an indicator of one thing and one thing only: Shrub would like to get elected. What he'll do in the White House, other than get to bed early, is hard to fathom. But it is by no means a stretch to assume that through Supremes appointments and other means, he'll do more than attempt to ban partial-birth abortions.
Or maybe not. I'm one of those who'd rather not bet on the outcome.
Meanwhile, there's a modest surge for Nader out here in California, and that's no surprise. What better place for the politics of narcissism to flourish? (Phil Donohue has waited a long time to retake a little face time. And it's so much fun pretending one is smarter?nobler, braver?than anybody else. Which is what the Nader celebs feast upon.)
Okay. Off to pick up some tin cans.
Harley Peyton, Santa Monica
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
MUGGER: You've got it exactly backwards. Journalists are supposed to report the facts. It's not Christiane Amanpour (10/4) who should be fired for stating that Dubya is not qualified. It's the rest of the "liberally biased" media who should for not reporting it!
Bill Rudman, Castro Valley, CA
Spudknocker
MUGGER: I really love reading your columns. Two things would improve them for me. One, shorter columns that I could read more quickly. Two, more content. It is never enough.
Oops, am I becoming a liberal mushhead? I want more without incurring the cost.
Two minor points about your 10/4 column. First, JFK's 49.7 percent would have been something like 49.4 percent if he hadn't campaigned so effectively in the cemeteries of the Midwest. I recall he got over 90 percent of the dead vote in Cook County. We never found out what government programs he promised the dead, since the psychics who must have delivered his message never talked. Well, at least they never talked about the 1960 campaign; they talk a lot on the phone these days. But you knew all of this?only maybe you are ashamed to admit all your dead ancestors voted for JFK.
Second, when Dan Quayle misspelled potato, he used the teacher's answer sheet, which had it as "potatoe." So Dan Quayle don't spell too good. Maybe his own teacher wasn't any better than the one who taught that famous class.
I leave you with this mushhead liberal thought: write more, but you be responsible for increasing my reading speed.
Tom Harrington, Tucson
Verbal Section
Russ Smith: While I wanted very much to sit through your entire C-SPAN appearance on Monday morning because it was interesting, I must tell you that I couldn't bear all your "uhhs, ums, uhhhhs" and turned off the program. I don't want to be mean, but someone needs to tell you: "Work on your verbal skills."
Rosalyn Bellis, Alexandria, VA
Angel of the Morning
Russ Smith: I enjoyed hearing you on C-SPAN Monday morning, but I found myself becoming very distracted by your annoying habit of inserting "ahhh" again and again between lines, while trying to think of what you were going to say next.
Ross Smith, Lincoln City, OR
Buffalo Beat
MUGGER: I've been reading New York Press for years. I left New York City after 10 years for Buffalo, and now I read your column via the Web. I am a former registered Democrat, and I find myself agreeing with a great deal of what you have to say. I was as enthusiastic about Clinton and Gore as anybody. The first presidential election I was able to vote in was 1992. "Hey, my guy won!" I thought. "They're going to change the world, provide universal healthcare, reverse the ban on gays in the military..."
Does anyone else remember those days?
Anyway, keep up the good work. I look forward to reading your reaction to the debate. I love how the media was just salivating, waiting for George W. Bush to say something stupid. I think he did okay, better than expected. Prince Al seemed arrogant and pushy, always trying to get the last word in. George W. was more folksy and natural, talking to the viewer at home instead of to the moderator. If it was a put-on, it was a darn good one.
I winced at the joke about Al Gore inventing the calculator, but I guess nobody's perfect.
I don't usually read the whole New York Press, but I never miss "Slackjaw." Whatever you are paying Jim Knipfel, you should double it. I have been clipping his columns and sharing them with people for years. It does my heart good to see that at least one writer in New York Press can tell a good story without resorting to describing sexual exploits.
Well, I think I've taken enough of your time. For those who are curious, Buffalo is a great town where you can talk to good people, enjoy decent food, drive to Niagara Falls within a half hour and find a truly amazing apartment for $500 a month.
Bianca Fiore, Buffalo
Congressman Eats Moose; Hospitalized
The 10/4 letter from the reader in Manhattan complaining about Jerry Nadler's insensitivity to Palestinian suffering really hit a nerve with me. The Israeli army is killing kids and Nadler complains that Israel is unfairly treated by the media.
Hillary is no better?pandering to the pro-Israel right in nauseating fashion. At least she has the excuse of a tough campaign. I think Nadler is sincere, though. He reminds me of those Serbian liberals who are humanitarians until they start talking about the "Turks." Just as they defended slaughter in Bosnia and Kosovo, Jerry defends Israeli slaughter of the Palestinians.
Fortunately, Nadler is a dying breed. Even way out here in Rockaway, we Jews are utterly disgusted and embarrassed. I can't imagine West Side liberals can tolerate Jerry's hypocrisy. Ted Weiss and Bella Abzug are spinning in their graves.
Marco Rosenberg, Queens
An Interesting Onion Ring Controversy
Thank you for awarding F&B in the "Best Onion Rings from a Twee Hotdog Stand" category (9/27). However, the writer of this article was unnecessarily harsh, and I would like to take this opportunity to address his points.
My partners and I risked our limited personal resources to build F&B with the intent to create a clean, congenial and distinct establishment in the competitive and crowded New York restaurant scene. Fast food operations and hotdog stands are generally dirty, tired and poorly designed. (They do have their time and place. We happen to love Papaya King and Gray's.) We did not design this restaurant for "yuppies." We are not the "Fashion Week of hotdog stands." The demographics of our customers are as wide as we could have hoped?from the neighborhood projects to local gallery owners. From families on weekend outings to (straight and gay) couples on movie dates. Our "Euro-arty" design was designed on a very tight budget, and meant to be warm and yet functional. We have received only very positive feedback about F&B's ambience up until your article.
I acknowledge that the writer is correct when he describes the occasions he has been at F&B when we "fuck something up"; or when he mentions that "half the time" he is "waiting 10, 15 minutes for...damn french fries." Opening a restaurant of this nature (in a very operationally challenging piece of postage-stamped real estate) in a tight job market does not attract the brightest of workers. We recognize that when we opened there were serious service flaws and we promptly addressed these issues. We serve more than 600 people a day with an average wait time of four minutes. We do not prep our food in advance like a McDonald's or Burger King. We cook our food fresh. People who know this will gladly wait for a decent product at a reasonable price. I regret that the writer thinks our prices are "absurd"?he may want to consider paying higher salaries to our staff; our average meal is about five dollars?and that our dogs "aren't anything special." We get terrific feedback from our loyal customers about our fair prices and the quality of our hotdogs and other menu items. The articles in the press regarding our product have been incredibly positive. My partners and I are truly amazed by (and appreciative of) the amount of radio and print media that F&B has garnered. After all, it's only fast food!
The beignets are not a "gimmick." They are an alternative to zeppole and donuts. We happen to be big fans of Cafe du Monde, and we have never claimed to offer an exact version of Cafe du Monde's. And why not bring beignets to the local dining scene? New Yorkers have always been receptive to all foods, and that's why we can enjoy diversity and choices.
As a European, I love beer and wine with my food?any food! I happen to think hotdogs and beer are a perfect match. Some people don't like beer, so we offered a choice: wine. Why would this upset your writer? Granted, we will readily accept your writer's criticism and namecalling for our sale of champagne (which was not mentioned). We acknowledge the ridiculousness of champagne and hotdogs. Now that is borderline "yuppie-pretentious"! But it's tongue in cheek. A little irony never hurt anybody.
That the writer advocates violence and wants "to punch somebody in la bouche" over some onion rings (sorry, frites) is incredible. If he does wish to take a swing at somebody, please have him introduce himself to the short, portly Englishman at the service counter, and I will be happy to be the recipient of his aggression and to offer a cathartic opportunity to this unhappy individual.
Amidst the much positive press, we have had an article or two that has been critical of our failings. They were constructive and fairly written, and we have learned from these mistakes. Your article was needlessly destructive. We have put our heart and soul into this business to produce something for the general public to enjoy. We will never be perfect, but we strive to balance quality and affordability on a daily basis. We are a little hotdog joint just trying to do something a little different. Period. Nothing more, nothing less. It is sad that your writer doesn't grasp this fact.
I also find it amusing that New York Press continues to call me to advertise?even as recently as the day I'm writing this. I will eventually advertise in New York Press. We are a new business with a tight budget to juggle, and your article does not exactly enhance our cash flow. Which leads me to ponder whether there is a correlation between better reviews and your advertisers. Surely New York's so-called "premier alternative newspaper" would never cross that line?
Please stop by for a chat and a hotdog?and oh yes, some wine!
Nicholas Type, F&B, Manhattan