Gary Numan at Irving Plaza; "All Quiet on the Western Front" Showcases S.F. Artists; Chamber Pop at Columbia; "Sounds of the '70s" at Den of Cin

It's going to be a good crowd; Gwenmars guitarist/vocalist Mike Thrasher is attractive enough to attract some attractive women, and you can't put a price on the sort of nuts Numan brings out. Tickets are $22; doors open at 8 p.m.

...Now, if I were going to take Gary Numan for drinks anywhere in New York, it would be to the Pee-wee's Playhouse-style art bar Max Fish, where any conversation can be derailed by an undulating video screen or whacked-out wall collage.

"What were you saying, Ned?"

"Sorry, Gary, it looked for a second like that giant spiral was coming out of your ear!"

"Rock on."

Until May 17, Max Fish (178 Ludlow St., betw. Houston & Stanton Sts., 529-3959) is hosting "All Quiet on the Western Front," a show featuring the work of seven San Francisco-area artists, painters and designers with a strong rock pedigree. One of them, Alan Forbes, did the Offspring's nifty Conspiracy of One CD; two others, Ron Donovan and Chuck Sperry, made Queens of the Stone Age posters; Chris Shaw handled set design for Cypress Hill. Not bad. If you need a goal as an artist, it might as well be to hang with rock stars.

The opening party for "All Quiet on the Western Front" is at Max Fish this Thursday at 7 p.m. There you'll get first dibs on the best pieces, plus a chance to speak with all seven contributors, rounded out by found artist Winston Smith, "lounge lamp" pioneer Chase Marshall and Frank Kozik. Kozik's responsible for the brightly colored, highly disturbing mutant animals on Offspring's Americana CD, so for the next few weeks you can be distracted from your conversations at Max Fish by evil bunny squids. That's progress.

...If "All Quiet on the Western Front" doesn't satisfy your need for Bay Area imports, try the third annual Best of San Francisco acoustic tour, coming to New York this week. It hits the Postcrypt Coffeehouse (basement of St. Paul's Chapel, Columbia University, 854-1953) on Friday, and the Living Room (84 Stanton St. at Allen St., 533-7235) on Monday, with a loose group of San Francisco musicians who have been drawing hundreds of people to free shows in an SF laundromat. Participants include Dr. Frank, Bonfire Madigan and Ian Brennan?you probably don't know who any of them are, so here goes:

Dr. Frank has been putting out records since 1986 with his pop-punk act, the Mr. T Experience. He hails from the same city, neighborhood and street as Green Day and Rancid (Gilman St., Berkeley?namechecked in a 1989 Mr. T Experience song), but he never made it onto MTV, despite the fact that he looks just like the guy from Jackass.

His songs are unabashed love pie, mostly about not having a girlfriend; his 1999 pop-punk-as-adult-contemporary effort Show Business Is My Life includes most of what you'll hear him perform.

Bonfire Madigan is chamber pop?you know, with a cello and contrabass. You'll best understand them if you hear their members' silly names: Madigan Shive, Sheri Ozeki, Shelley Doty, Sunshine Haire and Tomas. Sounds like my adventuring party from Final Fantasy II.

Ian Brennan is solo acoustic. He gets credit for putting out an album (2000's Mail Order Brides) where he looks just like Bob Dylan on the cover, but with a googly eyeball pasted over his left eye. His songs are very bare-bones strumming; they tend to pause in the middle, so you're never sure when one ends and another begins.

You have to love acoustic artists?they're so easy to talk guff about. The Best of San Francisco returns to New York next Thurs., April 26, at Sidewalk Cafe (94 Ave. A, betw. 13th & 14th Sts., 473-7373). All shows are free, though some of the places mentioned have drink minimums and "suggested donations to the band's tip bucket."

...In case you haven't filled your weirdness quota for the month, check out Sophie Toulouse, one of about a dozen artists taking part in "Ship of Fools II" at the Frying Pan this Saturday (Pier 63, W. 23rd St. at 12th Ave., 989-6363). The Frying Pan is a boat?like a real, previously sunken boat?which lends itself nicely to the immersive work of Toulouse, media artist Lee Whittier, big-in-Japan twins Matt and Mark Enger and others. Basically, you'll walk around the boat sipping drinks and dropping into cabins outfitted with sculptures, paintings and video screens.

Sophie Toulouse gave me the lowdown on her particular cabin.

"My thing is an invitation to become a citizen in a new nation called the 'Nation of Angela,' which is a nation founded on the writings of Angela Hoenikker, and we think she is the daughter of Dr. Hoenikker, who created Ice 9. It's a country based on materialistic anarchy, all about style and fabulousness. And we're looking for more fabulous people to come back with us."

After the show, there'll be a party presented by the DJs of Wanderlust. It costs no money to get on this boat; be there at 6 p.m.

...Overpriced and overspiced pizza from Two Boots blights this city, but at least companion outlet Two Boots Video (44 Ave. A, betw. 3rd & 4th Sts., 254-3300) is a decent store with good selection and inoffensive clientele. It even has its own movie venue, a downstairs enclave called the Two Den of Cin, which shows cult films, some of them very cool, and sells drinks, all of them very standard-priced.

This Sunday, starting at 8 p.m., the Den of Cin is presenting "Sounds of the 70's," a collection of BBC television music clips with prime-time television performances by Queen, the Who, the Ramones and so on. Guaranteed, if you like some of the acts (Alice Cooper), you'll hate others (Blondie), but the whole video is only 70 minutes long, so you'll be out before you know it. Many of these BCC snippets were never shown in the U.S. and all of them have that classy beige drapery. Admission is free with a one-drink (five-dollar) minimum.

?Faux pas from last week: Don't meet the editor of Harper's and confuse it with Harper's Bazaar. Never say to a girl, "You have a little Marilyn Manson thing going," no matter how much she looks like Marilyn Manson. And no pissing in Learning Annex boxes.