This Week's Horoscopes

| 16 Feb 2015 | 04:13

    Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) I like to believe that the world is recognizing (albeit slowly) that force is not an appropriate response to conflict. As condemnation of police brutality in Seattle (in response to protests regarding the WTO, the vast majority of which were peaceful and nonviolent) gathers more widespread support, it's my hope that world and community leaders will realize that it's just not worth the trouble. The main goal of condemning this violence isn't so they'll come down hard on those cops (although in the interest of general accountability, I hope they do) but so they'll pioneer new ways for people to be heard. Here's where you come in: As the zodiac's chief rebel-with-a-clue, I hope you redouble your efforts to propose new ways to shape our society. For instance, police courses on how to forestall, avoid and defuse violent situations before they happen. Your role in the new millennium: The Great Negotiator. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) The time for a truly effective worldwide government is now, one that can enforce some checks on Earth's multinational corporations, some of which are richer and more powerful than most governments. It's wonderful for the U.S. when we legislate environmental controls on industry?but all it means is they move their messes to desperate Third World countries who aren't in a position to dictate environmental laws to companies that can (largely artificially) boost their economies. My political rant is intended primarily for one purpose?to wake you up, make you ask yourself: Where are your messes (physical, emotional, etc...) going? Who's cleaning them up, if anyone? Isn't it time you took responsibility for your own shit? Aries (March 21-April 19) For someone who's so good at taking care of other people, you sure are lousy at nurturing yourself sometimes. My heart goes out to you during those trying moments of life, when a major crisis (or two or three) rears its ugly head. It makes me want to just wrap my arms around you, call in sick to work for you and stroke your head, telling you everything is going to be okay. Because it is. Not only are there people standing by to help you pick up the slack (you need only ask), but there are several strong astrological indicators that tell me?and now you?that you're going to be just fine. Taurus (April 20-May 20) My friends just had to shell out $400 for a leg amputation to patch up their pet canary after a scrap with their neighbor's cat. I applaud their love and willingness to spend a small fortune on this tiny creature. It just serves to remind me of a couple of things I know but often forget: there's nothing so small that it can't be loved immensely, and it's the small things that count the most anyway. You already knew that, didn't you, Taurus? In case you'd forgotten even for a second, there should be countless examples of the truth of this during the week to come. Gemini (May 21-June 20) After celebrating New York Christmases for most of my life, the holiday season in California was a pale mockery of what I'd grown up with. My first December on the West Coast, I waxed nostalgic and wandered around looking at Christmas lights in palm trees and tried to get into the spirit. That's the thing about nostalgia?the present can never quite live up to it. Sure, I could blame it on California. But what's the point? I'd be doing the same thing you are. So your quite beautiful present can't compare with your heavily romanticized past. So what can? That feeling of wonderment over your bittersweet memories? Guess what: in 10 years, you'll be feeling the exact same way about this very moment. Cancer (June 21-July 22) Most of the Cancers I know believe in ghosts. Faeries, witches and monsters under the bed are no big stretch for members of your clan, either. You're used to dwelling in the realm of the possible, the land of hope and dread. Rationality and hard science are your uneasy allies at best and sworn foes at worst. I encourage you?don't doubt yourself. You know what you know, and you now have the power to make it real. The realm of the possible has just expanded?it now includes anything and everything you set your mind to. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Even Leos who must slave like Cinderellas never give up hope of fairy godmothers, rich, generous uncles, winning lottery tickets or other magical reversals of fortune. The bad news is, you're not due for another surprise inheritance or karma-free miracle for at least another two or three months. The good news is, you're now uniquely empowered to grant your own wishes, be your own fairy godmother and ignore all rules or limitations regarding your assets turning into pumpkins at midnight. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) This is a good week to take a long, luxurious bath in coconut milk. Open your lungs and sinuses with a soothing sauna, lightly enhanced with expansive pine and eucalyptus essential oils. Be massaged by someone who's really good at it. In fact, anything you can do to help yourself feel relaxed, open and taken care of this week, do. You're not only more likely to survive (even learn from) any difficulties you encounter, from minor to catastrophic?you're also more likely to be willing to graciously accept the boons and blessings you're due to receive this week. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Your metaphorical position this week: You're poised on the crumbling lip of an active volcano. On one side lies a perilous, strenuous hike to safety, fraught with jungle dangers: poisonous plants, carnivorous beasties, snakes, headhunters, etc... On the other is a roiling hell of molten rock belching warnings of imminent eruption. Don't worry! In fact, I'd think you'd feel grateful for times like this, when you can finally put aside your endless equivocating and just do what must be done. It should be obvious?make the appropriate sacrifices to subdue or delay the wrath of the volcano. Don't let selfishness or greed hold you back from this step. It'll be much easier to pay attention to (and avoid) the dangers of your escape route if you don't have a sea of 10,000-degree lava nipping at your heels. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) When you're sick with a cold?nose running, eyes watering, sweating?it's important to drink a lot of liquids to help replace all the fluid you're losing. When you're spending bundles of cash, you'd be well-advised to be sure you have an equal or greater amount coming back in?sooner rather than later. It's logical equations like these that help me understand your current fix. You think that expending as much creative energy as you have requires some kind of payback or retribution. Not so. In this case (and one other that I can think of?love) the more you use, the more you have. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Stay tuned for that electric, brain-to-brain contact you crave, that instant, connected meeting-of-minds that strikes like lightning. Don't freak out. Lightning doesn't strike without warning, usually?despite its reputation. It's just that you haven't learned to interpret your current emotional and social state as one of extreme fluctuation?the metaphorical equivalent of being caught in a real doozy of a storm, the kind that whips your hair around your face while soaking you to the bone, the kind that fills you with your favorite extreme emotion: exhilarated fear and delight.